


Forgive me

by fictionalized02



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Love, M/M, Regret, Trust Issues, Wolfsbane
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-21
Updated: 2020-12-15
Packaged: 2021-03-09 23:02:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 11,828
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27653807
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fictionalized02/pseuds/fictionalized02
Summary: Lupin comes to Hogwarts during Harry's third year. He wants to be on good terms with Snape and tries to make him forgive him for his and his friends' past actions. Will he succeed?In this story, Voldemort doesn't resurrect.
Relationships: Remus Lupin/Severus Snape
Comments: 13
Kudos: 77





	1. Chapter 1

Another school year would start at Hogwarts. Things had changed since last year, and one of these was the person that occupied the DADA post. Lockhart’s position was taken by Remus Lupin. 

Remus missed Hogwarts. He was older now and not in his best physical condition. But he really wanted to see Harry and also some other people that he knew from his school years, such as McGonagall and Dumbledore.

The welcoming feast had started and Remus was sitting next to Snape. He greeted him but Snape only acknowledged him with a grunt. Lupin didn’t want to be on bad terms with the man. He always regretted what he let James and Sirius do when he was a student. And he wanted to apologize to him. But that wasn’t the right time to do so.

At the moment, he just enjoyed the feast, while keeping an eye on Harry.

A couple days later, he was outside Snape’s office, in order to take Wolfsbane. He knocked on the door and as he got in, he said:

“Good evening, Severus.”

“Good evening” he said without looking at him. He quickly handed him a goblet with Wolfsbane and continued with his work. 

“Um… I want to thank you for doing this.”

“You don’t have to. Don’t think I am doing this out of kindness.” he spoke coldly, his attention still on the papers on his desk. 

Remus drank the potion quickly.

“Severus, I wanted to apologize to you. I regret what we did to you back then. I don’t want to be on bad terms with you.”

He looked at him with a cold look. 

“You think that I will just forgive you and then we can be friends? I don’t care what terms we are on.”

Remus took one step closer. 

“I am truly sorry. I was just thinking that now that we are colleagues we could stop being hostile towards each other.”

“You should be sorry! Now, leave. I have work to do.” he said returning to his work, though it was obvious that this conversation had upset him.

Remus decided to give up for the day. This would take more time. He left his office, but not before saying:

“Well, thank you again. Good night.” 

Snape just scoffed after Lupin left. He told himself that he wouldn’t trust the werewolf. There had to be an evil reason behind his friendliness.

For the next month, Lupin was friendly towards Snape. He wanted to make up for his past actions. So, he would always sit next to him during meals and always tried to provoke conversation. However, he wasn’t very successful, as Snape would answer him with a few words and wouldn’t try to converse any longer with him. 

Snape was getting irritated by Lupin’s friendliness but the werewolf was very persistent. 

Whenever they would come across in a corridor, Remus would speak to him. They didn’t have many topics to discuss, so Remus would start a conversation about a matter that had to do with Hogwarts. 

Snape didn’t like all this attention from Lupin. But he couldn’t always avoid him, as he even visited him at his office a few times, mostly to discuss school topics. For instance, about a Slytherin's inappropriate behavior. Though, Remus didn’t even admit to himself that most of these topics were excuses.

\---

Remus knew that there was very small progress, but it was something. Snape was less cold towards him and would not immediately avoid conversation. A good example was a morning at breakfast:

“Good morning!” Remus greeted everyone at the dining table and then sat. “Good morning Severus.” he smiled at him.

“Good morning, Lupin. You seem very happy today.” he said in an indifferent tone.

“Why wouldn’t I be? It is a fine morning. Don’t you think?”

“It’s just like every other morning.”

“I think that every morning is different, as each one is filled with many opportunities for the rest of the day.” 

“Very optimistic. Though, I don’t think I can share your point of view.” He said and then continued with what was left of his breakfast.

Remus was trying to think of a response. He wouldn’t miss this chance.

“Do you have a heavy program today?”

“Almost every day.” He said and then got up.

“Well, good day.” Remus said gleefully as he looked up at him. 

Snape looked at him through squinted eyes. This man’s trust issues were just too many. 

“Good day.” he said, still with no trace of a smile on his face. And then he started walking towards the potions classroom. 

While walking he found it difficult to shake off the memory of Lupin’s gleeful expression while looking up at him. Why was he always smiling at him?  _ Probably one of his tricks, to make everyone think he is a kind Gryffindor.  _ But what he hated was that feeling that appeared in his stomach. Though, he couldn’t just let him win. He wouldn’t forgive him.

\---

The next time Snape gave him Wolfsbane, he was cold - as usual -, but not as much as he was the first time. 

“Thank you.” Remus said with a small smile. He begrudgingly drank the ingredients of the goblet. He grimaced, as wolfsbane’s taste was not the most pleasant one. Even after all those years, he couldn’t get used to its taste. Then, his attention turned back to Snape.

“Are you grading papers?”

“Yes.” He said as he sat back at his desk.

“I think that you should take a break.” He said and sat on a chair in front of the desk. “I will keep you company.” 

“What? Who told you to sit?” he asked, angry at Remus’s initiative.

“I figured that you would like to take a break. And what’s better than a break with a very kind and friendly man?” Remus said with a bright smile. 

This bright smile always annoyed Snape. Mostly because it was causing the weird feeling in the pit of his stomach.

“A break alone. Also, you drunk wolfsbane. You can leave now.”

Remus sighed.

“Severus, will you ever forgive me?”

“I don’t think I will.”

“Why?”

“You think I can just forget what you and your stupid friends did?”

“I know that what we did was awful, and you have no idea how much I regret it. I will not stop until you realize that I am genuinely sorry.”

Snape didn’t answer. He couldn’t decide. Part of him actually wanted to forget the past and move on but, at the same time, he was sure that Remus was just faking his kindness. It didn’t seem like it, though. His smiles seemed true. 

“Why did you bully me?”

“I didn’t genuinely enjoy it. I was a coward. I was afraid of being left alone, so I did everything that meant that Sirius and James would accept me. They were good friends. I didn’t want to lose them. I know that it was stupid to seek acceptance in such a way.” He wasn’t looking at him anymore but his eyes were focused on the desk.

Snape was contemplating what he had just heard. Lupin was honest, he could tell. But he didn’t expect him to be honest.

“I agree.”

Remus’s head snapped towards him. 

“What?” 

“I agree, you were a coward. And I think you should go.” he said but he wasn’t looking at him. When he did, he regretted it. Remus’s face was… sad. It seemed more tired. For some reason he couldn’t explain, he felt bad for being the cause of this expression. 

Remus got up, mumbled ‘goodnight’, and left.


	2. Chapter 2

Remus was not in a good mood. One of wolfsbane’s aftereffects was mood swings. His conversation with Snape had also triggered this change in his mood. But he couldn’t understand why. Why did he care if Snape didn’t want to forgive him? He decided that it had to do with the guilt that his past actions caused. Yes, that was it. Just guilt. So he decided to try again and be friendly towards Snape.

It was a sunny Sunday morning, but Remus was outside of the potions classroom. He knocked on the door.

Snape was not in a good mood, either. Today he was sulking even more and he didn’t want to speak to anyone. He tried to ignore the knock but it persisted. 

“Who is it?”

“Remus.”

What? He didn’t think that Remus would talk to him again after everything he had told him the previous day. 

He gave him permission to step into the room but he didn’t look at him. 

“Good morning, Severus.”

“Why are you here Lupin?”

“I just wanted company.” He said, shrugging his shoulders. 

“And out of all people you chose me?” he asked with sarcasm in his voice. He was feeling… something unusual. Lupin had come to him even though he had been mean towards him. Did he want the werewolf to constantly be aroun- annoy him? He panicked. He couldn’t have such feelings. And he certainly wouldn’t let him get any closer. He would never open up to anyone, let alone a Marauder.

“Why not?”

“Lupin I think you should go. I have a lot of work to do.”

“Do you need any help?”

“No.” he said, getting angrier. _Why can't he just leave?_

“Don’t be embarrassed to say it. I wouldn’t mind helping you.”

“Remus stop bothering me!”

Remus didn’t expect him to snap like that. He was hurt. He just wanted to help. He turned around and left without saying anything else. 

During the next two weeks, Remus was distant. When Harry was around he was feeling better, but the rest of the time he was different. Other professors had started noticing too. Remus would not smile and his mind seemed to be somewhere else. No one knew what was the reason behind this change. 

Snape had also noticed it. At first, he didn’t care, he thought that this was better for him. But as the days went by he started observing him. He wondered if his words had caused this. But he couldn’t understand why Remus would be bothered so much. So he concluded that he wasn’t the one who had caused this.

Remus didn’t try anymore to converse with him during meals.

Remus’s thoughts were not helping with his condition. Being a werewolf was already bringing him down at times. He felt… almost empty. If it weren’t for Harry, he would have been completely empty by now. The only light in his lonely life. 

His cheerful attitude was gone. He used to be talkative but now he doesn’t initiate conversation. Even if he is a part of it, his mind isn’t there. Also, he doesn’t eat much. Most of the time he is just looking absent-mindedly at his plate while playing with his food. This one caught Snape’s attention first.

He started noticing more of the signs, especially when Remus seemed to be avoiding him. He knew that he should be happy, but for some reason, he wasn’t. He was a bit worried about the werewolf's health.

One day, some professors were conversing in the staff room. They were laughing about something. Remus was in the staff room too and the other professors tried to include him in their conversation so that he would laugh and cheer up. Unfortunately, that didn’t happen. Not only did Remus not laugh with them but he also excused himself and gloomily walked out of the room. 

Snape was watching him the entire time. He didn’t think that Remus had noticed him, though. Now he was actually worried. 

McGonagall spoke first: “We have to help him but I don’t think that he will want to talk to us about it.”

“Then how are we going to help him?” asked Pomona.

“I believe that the only person that has a chance at finding out is Severus.”

“Me?” He asked. “I don’t think that he would ever open up to me.”

“Why not? He is fond of you. It seemed that he enjoyed your company so it is more likely that he will talk to you about what is troubling him.” 

“I’m not sure…” 

“Just try Severus.”

He accepted and decided to talk to Lupin. He tried to think of the right time and place to talk to him. He also needed an excuse for talking to him, because he didn’t want to show to Lupin that he was worried. 

However, the werewolf wasn’t there. He thought that he probably went to his rooms. 

What McGonagall said had put him in deep thought. Did Remus actually enjoy his company? Others’ observations made his opinion less valid. If this were true, then it was possible that his words had caused it. However, he still found it was difficult to believe.

The next day he visited his office earlier. Fortunately, this time Remus was there. 

“Come in.” He said.

“Good evening Lupin.”

Remus was obviously not expecting to see him. But his presence made him uncomfortable. 

Snape noticed the bags under Remus’s eyes.

“Wh- What brings you here Severus?” He couldn’t stop the stuttering, especially while knowing that Snape probably hated him. 

“I came here to talk to you about a new ingredient that I think I could add in Wolfsbane. It will make wolfsbane more tasteful I think.” Technically, he wasn’t lying. He had an ingredient in mind but it would take him many months to actually use it in the potion.

“O-Oh. That would be great. Th- Thank you. You don’t have to work this much with my potion if you don’t want to.”

“Remus, what is going on?”

“What do you mean?” He asked clearly oblivious to the reason for Snape’s question.

“You act differently. It’s like you are in a world of your own. Also, you are less talkative.” While he talked he kept a neutral expression.

“I… Isn’t that what you wanted? Why do you ask now?”

“What are you talking about?”

“You were the one who said that I bother you. Why do you care if I don’t talk?” He was looking at Snape with a look he couldn’t comprehend. It wasn’t hate or anger that he saw in his eyes, but something else.

“What does it matter what I said?”

“ I didn’t say it was only your fault. I have been also having mood swings due to wolfsbane.”

“You should have told me. I will work on it.”

“I didn’t want to bother you.”

“Oh for Merlin’s sake Lupin! I didn’t mean that you always bother me!”

Remus was just looking at him, confused.

“I was just brewing a potion and didn’t want anyone talking to me. I didn’t know that it would affect you this much. Now, will you stop sulking all the time?”

If Remus was in his wolf form, his tail would surely be moving happily. Even though Snape was showing an indifferent expression, he knew that he didn’t dislike him and that he was observing him these days. He wasn’t sure what that meant, but he felt hopeful. 

He got up from his chair and stood in front of Snape.

“Only if you forgive me.”

Snape was surprised from the sudden proximity. He could also smell Lupin’s scent. His heart skipped a beat. Nevertheless, he answered without stuttering.

“Yes.” And he saw Remus’s eyes gain the glow that they once had. "Also, get some sleep and eat more. Your eyes look terrible and I don't think that you can afford to lose any weight." Even though, his face showed like he was almost insulting Remus, the latter knew that he actually cared beneath this facade.

"I will, Severus." He said with kind eyes. Snape averted his gaze.

“Well, good night Lupin. See you tomorrow.” 

“Good night Severus.” He said feeling happy. 

That night Remus had a good sleep for the first time in two weeks and Snape had dreams about a certain DADA professor.

\----

The next day Remus greeted everyone sitting at the teachers' table with his usual delightful expression. And Snape got his separate ‘good morning’ to which he actually answered with no sarcasm or sneer. He was very confused, especially due to his dream. It wasn’t lewd but it was romantic and he did his best to forget about it. Of course, his presence didn’t help.

The rest of the professors were curious as to how Snape was able to bring Remus back to his normal self. Dumbledore and McGonagall were the only ones who had suspicions. They knew that both men craved company.

For the rest of the week whenever Remus would talk to Snape the latter would try to not sound too sarcastic. He didn’t want to hurt the wolf again. He had also grown accustomed to the wolf’s presence. 

One day, they were discussing in the staff room, which was empty, and Remus was saying something funny. To his surprise, Snape laughed. He was stunned and just stared at him. He had caused the cold and unapproachable man to laugh. His heart grew warmer and he decided to make him laugh again in the future, as many times as possible.

“What?” Snape asked, self-conscious, as Remus was staring at him. He seemed alarmed. 

“Oh, it’s nothing. I just think that you should laugh more. It suits you.”

Snape was speechless. A blush appeared on his cheeks but Remus didn’t see as a professor entered the room calling his name. While he was talking Snape was trying to stop himself from blushing. He figured that the best thing to do was to be away from him now, so he excused himself to go to his classroom and make some preparations for his next class.

Remus’s eyes unconsciously followed his figure until he disappeared from his view. 


	3. Chapter 3

Remus is sitting in Snape’s office during a break. He feels more comfortable in his presence. Even though Snape won’t admit it, he likes having company, since being alone for so long. 

This time they are having a conversation about wolfsbane. As Snape had promised, he was experimenting with it.

“I made an adjustment with wolfsbane, which I think will decrease your mood swings.”

“Thank you, Severus! You are brilliant! In less than a month you were able to figure this out!”

Unbeknownst to Remus, Snape had been working many hours on it. He actually wanted to help one of the few people who enjoyed his company.

A slight blush appeared on his face. Though, Remus didn’t think anything of it.

“There is no reason to praise me. I just did my job. But, wouldn’t you want to know what the ingredients are? How can you be so sure I did my job right? Or that I am not trying to poison you?”

“You are one of the best potioneers in the wizarding world! And I trust you.”

Snape couldn’t think of any response. No one had told him that. Who would trust him? A part of himself wanted to believe that Remus was lying, so to show that he was right and no one would ever trust him blindly. However, he could see that the werewolf wasn’t lying. But he kept his doubts.

Remus looked at the clock and he got up but not before asking:

“So I’ll check this new version of wolfsbane in four days, right?”

“Yes.”

“Ok, I’m looking forward to it.” He said with a bright smile. And left.

\---

The next two days were very hectic both for Remus and Severus. But Remus had one more disadvantage. Due to his upcoming change that was soon to happen, he got exhausted more easily, and his age wasn’t helping. 

He finished with work rather late. When he exited his office the moon was already high in the sky. He would have sat there gazing at it, but he was too exhausted and the days till his transformation would be even worse. 

He was using what was left of his energy to walk to his rooms. As he turned a corner he bumped into someone. Snape. He was a bit taller than him, so his head hit his chest. Apparently, he had night patrol duties.

“Lupin. What are you doing out here in the middle of the night?”

“Work. I just finished with it.”

“Teaching at Hogwarts can be like hell at times, but I think that you’ll get used to it. Or not.” He said sarcastically. However, he could see that the werewolf needed sleep.

“I’m fine.” He replied, smiling. “I am happy that I get to do something I like.”

“Let’s see if you say the same thing in a few years.”

“I’ll probably say the same thing. I have way more patience than you.” His smile still hadn’t left his face.

“How can anyone have patience when teaching all these small beasts? Most of the time they do it on purpose, I’m sure of it. But, still, you’d be surprised to find out how much patience I have.”

Remus laughed. 

“I just think that you scare them. You should try being kinder towards them.”

“Kind?”

“I’ve heard from students that you are judging in a very strict way. Sometimes, you could smile when they make a mistake and tell them that it’s okay. The effort is what matters.” he said while walking past Snape. 

“What?” He walked towards him without realizing it. “ I’m their teacher, not their friend. This is the best way to teach them. They need to know that people won’t always pat their back.” He was still walking next to him, and now he was accompanying Remus. Until they reached the door to his rooms, Snape was still talking about his idea of teaching and about his disapproval of Remus’s teaching techniques. 

“Well, Severus, I will certainly think about what you said and do my best to prove you wrong. Also, you talk a lot at times, you know that?” he said smiling.

“Well, if you don’t want to listen to-” he retorted, going in defensive mode.

“No, don’t get me wrong. I actually like listening to you talk. I believe that you should talk more often. But it seems that you keep all of your thoughts to yourself. What you need is a person to whom you can talk to and there is no better person that qualifies for that than me!”

Snape was just gaping at him. He didn’t think that Lupin would see right through him. Had he gone that soft? And he liked listening to him talking? This statement had made his heart skip a beat.

“And I think that you could also try communicating more often with other professors too.”

“Not happening.”

“Well, then I will have you all to myself.” He answered, smiling. “Goodnight, Severus. See you tomorrow.” And with that, he closed the door behind him. 

Snape just stood there for a solid minute, and then began walking while contemplating what he had heard. Lupin’s words created a war in his head. One side of him was angry at the werewolf because of his audacity to say such a thing! He didn’t have the right to barge into his life after all these years and start acting like they were friends since they were babies.

However, the opposite side felt satisfied and accepted. There was someone who wanted to be in his presence quite often. Someone who actually enjoyed his company and who didn’t think he was evil.

Later, he drifted off to sleep with images of light brown eyes and a pair of lips smiling.

\---

  
  


The day for Remus to drink wolfsbane had arrived. Remus was very exhausted and did his best to not show it in front of Severus. When he moved to sit on a chair in front of Snape’s desk he slightly winced, but he didn’t realize it, as it was something that happened to him often, especially during this time of the month.

However, Snape had noticed. He became worried and decided to ask him about it.

“Why did you wince? Are you injured?”

The question took Remus aback. But when he realized what Snape meant, he tried to cover the truth. He knew that this would trouble him more.

“I am a bit tired, that is all.”

“A bit?” he inquired, lifting one eyebrow.

“Ok, maybe not a bit. This time of the month is a bit more difficult, but I manage.”

“But wolfsbane should be able to reduce exhaustion, right? At least to a certain point.”

“Well, you’re forgetting a very important factor, my age.”

“It’s not like you’re sixty! And it still doesn’t explain why wolfsbane isn’t working as efficiently as it should. Of course, you would be tired around this time of the month, but this much exhaustion shows that something is wrong.”

“I told you I am not exhausted. Just a little tired.”

“Oh, really? Have you seen yourself in a mirror?”

Remus didn’t say anything. He knew that it was pointless to hide it from the potions' master.

“Tell me. What’s wrong?” Snape insisted.

“What I said before was true. My age and being a werewolf is not a good combination. But… it is true that wolfsbane might not be very helpful with my physical state. But it’s fine! I can manage! I’m actually used to this.”

“And why didn’t you tell me?” 

He sighed. “Severus, you work a lot. I mean you gave up a lot of your time to make this addition to wolfsbane, in order to make it in less than a month. I don’t want to trouble you or exhaust you.”

“Lupin, how stupid are you? This is about your health! Is there anything else that you are hiding about wolfsbane?”

“No, everything else is fine.”

“Alright. But if you notice anything else, tell me immediately.” The tone of his voice left no room for any objection.

“I promise.” He said and then proceeded to drink his potion.

“Is there any other reason for hiding this?”

“No.”

“Remus! Stop lying.”

Remus was shocked hearing Snape call him by his first name.

He sighed.

“I don’t think I’m worth it.” He said in a low voice, his gaze on the floor.

“What? Why?” Snape asked, more confused than angry. He had thought that the other reason was lack of trust. Apparently, he was wrong.

Remus was angered by his cluelessness.

“Because of my past actions!” he spoke loudly, his gaze still not on him. “You have forgiven me after all the shit I did! I feel guilty whenever you have to be burdened because of me!” 

If he had looked at him, he would have seen that Snape’s expression was one of complete shock. 

“And I know that the best thing I can do now is to make amends for what I did, because I honestly like your company, not burden you.” He confessed. Now he dared to look at Snape. He couldn’t understand what he was thinking. Was he going to laugh at him for thinking that? He totally deserved it. Or was he just going to tell him to get out of his office?

He said neither. He sat on the chair next to his.

“You can’t erase your actions. And yes, it was difficult for me to forgive you. But that doesn’t mean that I can’t accept your company and that I can’t try to put the past behind. You will still have to work hard, but I know that you have good intentions. And don’t tell me again that you are afraid of burdening me. You are not burdening me.” 

He handed him the potion.

Snape was worried about him. Remus didn’t take good care of himself. He had to keep a closer look on him so that he would make sure that the werewolf wasn’t putting his health last. 

“So, Severus, I will inform you if any changes happen with the new addition. Though, I believe that there will be changes. After all, you are brilliant.”

It was obvious that his praises made Snape uncomfortable.

“Severus, don’t be modest! You are brilliant! And I want to thank you, again, for all the work you’ve done. And for giving me a chance.”

_ Ugh! Again with that smile and those shining eyes.  _ Snape thought.

A small smile appeared on his face, showing that he had accepted Remus’s words. 

“Severus, it’s getting late. You don’t have more work right?”

“Actually, yes, I do.”

“It’s late. You should rest.” 

“Just leave, Lupin. I have some things left to do tonight.”

Remus sighed.

“At least try to not stay up too late.”

“I won’t.” He replied. Though he pretended to be reading something so as to avoid looking at Remus. He couldn’t see it, but he knew that he was blushing. 

Soon Remus left and he kept his promise and didn’t work much. It was nice for once having someone to remind him that he shouldn’t put too much pressure on himself.

\---

Remus was sitting once again across from Snape at his office. He was toying with a feather that was on Snape’s desk, while Snape was grading some essays. 

“Severus?”

“Hm?”

“Can I call you Sev?”

Snape immediately stopped writing. He slowly lifted his head and looked at Remus.

“What?”

“Can I call you Sev?”

“No.” 

“Why?” he said with a pout. This expression created that feeling in the pit of his stomach. He didn’t know if he could resist it.

“Stop pouting. The answer is no.”

“But I think that it would suit you.” He said, still pouting.

Snape sighed. “Fine.” His voice was barely audible. 

“Great, Sev!” 

“I didn’t mean that you can shout it or use it all the time!”

“I don’t know about that. But of course, on formal occasions, I will not call you that.”

“I don’t agree-”

“Severus, you already accepted. If you feel very uncomfortable, then I will only call you that when we are alone, ok?”

Snape sighed again. He didn’t know how to respond. Did the werewolf plan on meeting him often?

“And how often will that be?” he asked, squinting his eyes.

“I don’t know. How often do you want it to happen?” A smirk appeared on his face.

Snape stood there watching him while a blush crept at his cheeks. This time, Remus noticed. He had gotten his answer.

Before Snape could answer, Remus spoke:

“You didn’t answer on time, so I am going to make that as often as possible.” His expression returned to his kind smile. With that, he left.

Snape wondered how this man managed to leave him speechless. He should have been angry. However, he felt something like excitement, maybe close to happiness. His heart started racing a bit faster. Why hadn’t he been able to answer? And why was Remus’s expression different?  _ No, it’s just in my head.  _ Though, he couldn’t deny anymore that he actually wanted to spend more time alone with him. A smile appeared on his face.


	4. Chapter 4

Snape is feeling depressed. However, he is not unfamiliar with this.

Now that he has grown accustomed to Remus’s presence, he is afraid that Remus will get bored and he will be left alone. It is still difficult for him to believe that Remus wants to communicate with him often. His fears lead him to depressing thoughts and anxiety. Though he doesn’t show Remus. He would never let someone see his vulnerable side. Or show him that he cares too much.

_He will probably realize his mistake sooner or later and he will seek better company._

He was trying to be somewhat friendly to Remus. He wanted to try. He had figured that it was nice having company.

Due to these thoughts, he arrived at breakfast later than usual. Lupin seemed to be looking for something, but when his eyes found him they lingered on his figure and a small smile appeared on his face. Snape suddenly felt better. 

When he had placed his breakfast on his plate, Remus asked him:

“Severus, how come you’re late today?”

“Well, there were some tests left to grade, so I wanted to do it before classes started.”

“Oh, ok. I was just worried that you were not feeling well, but it seems that everything is fine.”

Snape was confused by Remus’s worries. But he didn’t think more of it. He also knew that the rest of his day would be challenging for him.

And he was right. By noon, he already had a headache. But it wasn’t only because of lectures. His mental health was the one that was mostly causing all of this. However, he tried not to show it.

He didn’t go to lunch. He drank a potion to alleviate his headache. Due to his state, he wasn’t hungry. He just needed to take his mind off these dark thoughts. So, he decided to do some work. 

In the meantime, Remus was growing worried. Why would Snape skip a meal? His late arrival at breakfast made him worry more. He put some food on a plate and headed towards the dungeons. 

He reached Snape’s office and knocked on the door. He knew that the potion’s master could be very stubborn, but he wouldn’t back down. He wouldn’t leave until he made sure that Snape would eat all of his lunch. After all, he liked him and cared about him.

He entered the classroom and when Snape realized who it was his head turned towards him. His attention solely on Lupin.

“You skipped lunch.”

“I know.”

“Why?”

“Work.” 

“I don’t think that what you are doing is so urgent that you had to skip lunch.”

“I am not hungry.”

“You were planning on not eating anything until supper?”

“Yes,” he said matter-of-factly. “It is not the first time.”

“What? Do you have any idea of the negative impact that this has on your health?”

“Don’t-”

“No. You are going to eat all the food from this plate. And I’m not leaving until you do.”

“But-” 

“There is no ‘but’. Now sit down and eat.” he said demandingly. Remus didn’t want to sound so strict but he knew that there was no other way Snape would listen.

A couple of minutes later, Snape was halfway through his lunch. Suddenly, he stopped.

“Why did you bring me food?”

“I already told you, Sev. I didn’t want you to stay hungry till supper. Oh, and by the way, you are not skipping supper.”

He loved the sound of his nickname coming from Lupin. 

“But why bother about me so much?” he asked trying to sound sarcastic.

Remus put his hand on his shoulder and replied with a smile.

“Because we are friends. Friends care about the wellbeing of each other.”

These light brown eyes. He didn’t feel like he deserved all this attention from them.

“You really think I’m worth so much fuss?” he said without thinking. It was just a thought and he didn’t mean to say it aloud. When he realized his mistake, he froze.

Remus froze too. His expression changed quickly to one of worry and something else he couldn’t decipher. 

“Is this how you think of yourself?” he asked in a low tone.

Snape’s eyes darted to his desk.

“Don’t ever say that about yourself. You are worth happiness. You are worth care. You are worth having people in your life who care about you!” He took hold of his hand, and Snape’s face snapped in his direction. Remus’s eyes were looking into the depths of his, trying to make him believe all that he was saying.

“I am not the best person. And soon enough you will realize that.”

Remus’s eyes widened.

“You actually believe that? Severus, I already know about your past and I think I know enough things about you to say that I will never get bored of spending time with you!” He placed his other hand on the one he was already holding and started caressing it. The movement drew Snape’s attention. He couldn’t answer.

“All these thoughts need to leave your head. Look, I know that you are a difficult person to approach, but I want to get to know you more. But what worries me is that you might stop wanting to talk to me. And you shouldn’t even talk to me, as it seems that bullying caused you to think like that. I’m so sorry.”

“I told you that I am willing to move forward. Though, I think that what you can do is to make sure that these insecurities don’t become reality.”

“Of course!” he spoke holding his hand tighter. He didn’t want him to feel like he was alone.

They were looking at each other but neither moved. Eventually, Remus smiled and said: “Now finish your food.”

Snape broke out of his trance and chuckled. A sound Remus could listen to all day.

“Fine, mother,” Snape replied and proceeded to eat.

\----- 

For the next two weeks, Remus would question Severus if everything was alright. He wanted to make sure that if any of these thoughts burdened him, he would help him. 

Even though Snape liked this attention at first, now he didn’t want it. So one day that they were in Remus’s office he decided to be honest, or the werewolf would drive him mad.

“Severus, are you feeling fine today?”

“Yes. How about you?”

“I’m doing great. But as I’ve said before I want to know if you are fine.”

“Remus, we need to talk.” 

He knew that he was being very serious about it from the fact that he had addressed him by his first name. He nodded allowing him to continue. He also noted that he liked the sound of his name when Severus said it.

“I understand that you are worried but I don’t like it when you ask me all the time about my mental health. You just keep reminding me of these thoughts when you ask so often. So I think that you should stop this and I promise you that if I have any serious problem with my mental health, I will talk to you about it.”

Remus hadn’t realized that. The last thing he wanted was to keep reminding Severus of this. Even though he knew that Severus wouldn’t always keep his word, it was a start. And he knew that he was honest. It seemed that he wanted to try, that he wanted to trust someone and Remus wouldn’t let him down.

“Of course. I am sorry, I didn’t know. But I want to thank you for sharing this with me. And keep your promise.” 

Snape was content with Remus’s answer. He had thought that it would take him more time to persuade him. 

“I will.” He said with a small smile. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry if this chapter is too short! The next one is definitely a longer chapter.


	5. Chapter 5

Snape is brewing a potion. Remus is sitting on a chair, watching him. He finds that the potion’s master is very attractive when he is concentrating on potions. It’s like he is in a world of his own.

Remus hadn’t realized that he was staring. He felt like something was pulling him towards the other man.

Snape stopped stirring the potion because now he had to wait a few minutes for it to be ready. And then he noticed. Remus was staring at him with a weird expression. The way he looked at him made his heart skip a beat. 

“Why are you looking at me like that?” he asked. Remus jumped slightly as he just now realized that he had been caught staring.

“Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable,” he said avoiding eye contact. “I was just watching you.”

Snape didn’t question him further. He returned to his work, though he was still questioning Remus’s expression.

Remus scolded himself for staring longingly at the man. He knew that his thoughts about the man were romantic, but he tried to stop these thoughts, as he knew that his feelings would never be reciprocated. 

\-----

A few days later, Snape was eating supper at the Great Hall. His eyes started wandering ahead until his eyes fell on Remus who was conversing with another professor. Even though he wanted to avert his gaze, it lingered on him. 

He was looking at his body posture and his face. He had to admit that his features were attractive. He also realized that he liked the way he moved his hands while talking. 

The other professor had said something that had caused Remus to smile. Snape had realized that his smiles made it seem like he glowed. Had others noticed that too? They must have. He would smile and Snape would forget, even for a moment, everything. And as he remembered all the times that Remus had shown that smile to him, he blushed a little. 

And at that moment, Remus moved his gaze and it fell right on Snape. The latter looked immediately down on his plate. He knew that his blush was worse so he kept his gaze on his plate and started eating so that he wouldn’t seem suspicious.

Remus, even in that second, had noticed Snape’s look. There was only one explanation that he had for this but he couldn’t believe it. Could Severus be attracted to him, too? He didn’t really want to find out. He was afraid that he had misinterpreted this and any wrong move could ruin their friendly relationship that was difficult to build.

Soon he sat at the table next to Snape. He decided not to talk about this so he just casually conversed with him. 

He didn’t know it, but Snape was grateful.

\----

The next day

Fourth period had finished. Remus was reading something from the textbook as students filed out of the classroom. He was leaning with his back on the desk, while with his left palm he was holding the edge of the desk, and in his right hand he was holding the book.

He hadn’t noticed though, that Snape had entered the classroom and only a few students were left in it. 

Minerva had informed about a staff meeting that was going to be held and he was told to inform some professors who didn’t know about it yet. Remus was the last professor, not for any apparent reason, as he told himself.

While he waits for the rest of the students to leave, he takes in Remus’s body posture and his concentrated look. Again, he finds himself wanting to stare at him. Now he knew that he definitely found him attractive. So he averted his gaze and looked everywhere else but him, trying to forget the way his body wanted to react to this sight. 

_ Stop it, Severus! What are you even thinking?  _ He scolded himself.

When the last student left, closing the door, he cleared his throat. Remus’s head shot up from his book. 

“Sev! To what do I owe the pleasure?” he asked in a playful tone.

“I was sent to inform you that a staff meeting will be held in a few minutes.”

Remus closed the textbook and put it on the desk. He stood and stepped closer to Severus - but not too close. Snape held his breath. 

“Ok, will you come with me? Or do you have to inform other professors too?”

“Yes, we will head together to the staff room.”

“Great,” he said, smiling.

Snape scolded again himself for thinking that Remus would do something else. 

\-----

December 15th

It was Sunday morning. Remus didn’t have any work to do and he knew that neither did Severus. Now that Christmas was near he had a plan that he knew Snape wouldn’t like.

He was right. When Snape saw him entering his office with a big box in his arms he squinted his eyes at him.

“What’s that?”

“A box.”

“I was asking about its contents.”

“Well, it contains Christmas decorations.”

“And why did you bring them here?”

“In order to decorate your office.” He said cheerfully. “I noticed that you are not very eager to do so.” 

“Yes, because I don’t care about Christmas.”

Remus made a shocked expression. 

“Well, I am going to help you see that Christmas is a beautiful holiday. And I want to start with a few decorations. I think that you are going to like this. It’s actually one of the fun parts of this holiday! Oh, and you will help me, as this is your office.”

“I told you, I don’t like Christmas. I don’t see why you’d be so excited over some decoration.”

“Just try for once Sev! Only this year. And if you still have the same opinion till New Year’s I will not bother you again about Christmas.” His expression was hopeful.

“No.” 

But he regretted it a second later because Remus’s smile turned into a pout while his gaze was on the box he was holding. Snape felt like someone had hit his heart. He knew that he wanted to see the werewolf smile. His defense melted. 

“Fine. But you will keep your word in case I still have the same opinion.”

Remus’s head shot up. His eyes were wider. A second later, he gave one of his brightest smiles. Snape didn’t know that he could cause someone to be this happy. 

“So, are we going to decorate now?” Snape asked, trying to seem like he didn’t care about the matter.

“Yes, this was what I was thinking.”

Remus placed the box on a chair. Snape wasn’t very used to this, so Remus guided him at the beginning of the process. 

A few minutes later, Remus had placed a garland over a bookcase and was adjusting it, when he felt a body close to his. Snape was a few centimeters behind him and was watching with a disapproving look at the garland. Blood rushed to his cheeks so he kept his look on the bookcase.

“What? You don’t like it?”

“I think it’s a bit too much.”

“This is one of the good things about Christmas decorations. I like it.” He hoped that Snape would soon step back as he felt like his heart would break from beating too fast.

Luckily, he did. He seemed to accept the piece of decoration and he moved on with his task. 

Three minutes later, Remus was not flustered anymore and he was humming a Christmas song while decorating. 

Snape wouldn’t admit it, but he felt content. He felt something warm in his heart, something unknown to him. 

While they were decorating they were talking about silly things, like building a snowman- for which Remus seemed a bit too excited -, or Christmas food. Remus also said a joke that made Snape laugh for the second time. He loved the sound of it. He didn’t want this moment to ever stop. But time had passed, even if they hadn’t realized it. In fact, almost two hours had passed.

“I think that your office is magnificent!”

Snape didn’t answer. He wasn’t very used to this, but he was just looking at how happy Remus seemed. And if that made him so cheerful then he would withstand it. Though, it wasn’t that awful.

“I can’t wait for Christmas!”

“What is so great about that day?”

“You get to spend time with friends and family. And I am happy knowing that this Christmas Harry will be around, even if he doesn’t know the truth about me.” He said with a saddened expression. “And I will also spend time with you. And we will attend the Christmas staff party. They told me that you don’t like to attend, but this year you will have to try.”

“You are asking too much. I don’t think I will live through this.”

“Sev, don’t be overdramatic. I think that you will enjoy the party. Plus, I will be there too, so I’ll make sure you won’t get bored.”

“You are not very convincing.”

“I think that another good thing about Christmas is gifts. And be sure that I have one ready for you,” he added in hope of Severus growing familiar with the idea of Christmas.

“A gift? Why?” He did exchange gifts with Minerva, but he wasn't used to doing this with other people. And he didn't expect that Remus would be so eager to get him one.

“Well, it’s Christmas. I want to thank you for giving me a chance. It’s also my way to thank you for the company you kept me. Even if you don’t believe it, you are a very interesting person.” He smiled.

Snape smiled. He couldn’t stop it. It just happened. And for once after a long time, he didn’t try to hide it. It wasn’t a large smile, but it certainly was an achievement. 

He hadn’t thought about getting a gift for Remus. He made a mental note to think about this later. He already knew that he would spend hours deciding the perfect gift for him.

\----

Christmas had arrived and Remus was heading towards Snape’s rooms in order to accompany him to the staff party.

He knocked on the door. A few seconds later, Snape opened the door with a sulking look.

“Do I really have to do this?”

However, Remus didn’t answer. Snape was wearing formal robes that flattered his body form. 

“Lupin?”

“I-I’m sorry. But yes, you will attain the event. I think that you should stop sulking and be more festive! It’ll be fun!”

“It’s also quite late.”

“Severus! Stop making excuses!” 

When they arrived most of the staff was already there. And they seemed happy to see both. They engaged in conversations with some professors. Snape was talking with Minerva - one of the few people in Hogwarts that he respected a lot.

Soon, because Minerva suggested it, they joined Remus and Albus’s conversation, and in a few minutes, they were all laughing.

There was also music. Both had drunk more than three cups of firewhiskey and Remus started dancing and muttering the song. He encouraged Snape to dance a bit too, as others were already doing, but he only moved a bit. Snape felt a blush but didn’t know if it was because of Remus or the alcohol.

Snape was actually having a decent time. He didn’t feel lonely like any of the previous years. And he was grateful that Remus was the one who had led him to this. He was also content knowing that Remus was having a good time.

\---

After they left the party, they headed to Snape’s rooms. They hadn’t exchanged gifts yet. When they entered, Remus was talking about how fun it was. 

“Did you enjoy the party?” he asked Snape.

“It was an interesting party.”

Remus didn’t need anything else to understand that he had enjoyed the party more than he wanted to show.

“I am glad that you liked it!”

Then Remus noticed that there was a small Christmas tree in the room. And then he saw a gift under it. He had told a house-elf to bring the gift to the room, but he hadn’t known that there was a tree.

“Nice tree,” he complimented, smiling. “It also seems like you have a gift.”

Snape looked perplexed at it. He was sure that it hadn’t been there before. He took it in his hands and inspected it with suspicion. There was a folded card on it. He opened it and read it.

_ Dear Severus, _

_ I am delighted to spend Christmas in your company. Thank you for everything. _

_ Your dear friend, _

_ Remus _

He smiled as he unfolded the wrapping. His gift was a potions’ book that was out of sale for at least two hundred years and would probably cost millions to buy from very few collectors. He had always wanted to read it, but he never thought that he would get the chance to do so. 

He looked at Remus. 

“Um, I didn’t know if you would like it. If you don’t, it’s fine.”

“Are you kidding? This book is very rare. I thought it was impossible to have it. How did you do it?”

“An old acquaintance owed me a favor.”

“Thank you,” he said with a look that made Remus’s heart melt.

“I am glad that you like it. I was worried that you wouldn’t. But I had heard you talk about this book like you really wanted it, so I figured that it was worth the risk.”

Snape hadn’t realized that Remus was paying so much attention to his words.

“I also have a gift for you.”

“Really?” he asked, his eyes shining.

Snape just chuckled. He liked Remus’s impatience. 

He hadn’t known what to buy Remus as he never really talked about any particular object that he might like. He had visited Diagon Alley, looking for anything that was good for a gift. 

He went into another room and a few seconds later, he returned holding a box in his hand. He extended his hand for Remus to take it. His gift didn’t have a card. Remus seemed too eager to open it, reminding him of a child. 

Remus just stood for a good amount of time looking at the gift. Snape was nervous. His insecurities were creeping into his mind. He was feeling guilty as Remus’s gift was way better than his. 

“I wasn’t sure what to get you. If you don’t like-” He stopped mid-sentence as Remus lifted his head. His eyes held unshed tears. 

“I love it,” he whispered. 

Snape just stood looking at him.

The gift was a snow globe which was quite charming, but the figures inside were Remus and Snape decorating the latter’s office.

“How did you do this?” 

“There was a shop at Diagon Alley that created snowglobes with figures of your choice.”

“But how did they manage to depict this moment so precisely?”

“Long story. So, you like it?”

“Of course! But how did you know that I would like this?”

“I wasn’t sure. I liked the snowglobe, but I didn’t know what figure you would prefer. Then I remembered how happy you were when we were decorating, more than usual, so I thought that it would be a memory that you might want to remember. Though, at the same time, I had my doubts. Also, this is the only way for you to see my office decorated on Christmas for the next few years.”

“I am not so sure about that last one. There is still time left till New Year’s. And you were right, I am fond of that memory. Also, whatever the gift was, I would have gladly accepted it. Thank you, this is very beautiful.” His tone was still low. 

“So you’re fine with seeing my face every day? Seeing me in a decorative every day can be too much,” he said in a sarcastic tone.

“I would love to see your face every day,” he spoke without realizing that he had actually said it aloud. However, his gaze was on the globe. It took him two seconds to realize his mistake. He quickly raised his head and looked at Snape with wide eyes.

“I-I’m sorry. I-I-I actually- I didn’t mean- Though, it’s not like you are not attractive- I mean, you sure are attractive- I didn’t mean-”

He stopped talking as Snape was only a few centimeters away from his lips. A second later, he pressed his lips on Remus’s. Both were shy at first. But soon the kiss became more passionate, yet tender.

When they broke the kiss, there was almost no room for air between them. Both were looking at the other, waiting for someone to speak first. 

Snape wanted to kiss him more than anything but he tried to stop himself.

“I- I don’t know- I need time to think-” Snape spoke first.

“O-Of course.” He understood.

Both had little sleep that night, the kiss haunting their thoughts. Both had loved it, but were they ready for this?


	6. Chapter 6

It was the day after Christmas. Both Remus and Severus had slept very little. They didn’t want to come across each other as it would be awkward. Also, they weren’t sure if they were ready to address what had happened. 

Neither left their rooms that day. Fortunately for them, it was a day with no responsibilities.

Remus was looking at the snowglobe. He had known that he had romantic feelings towards Snape, but he never thought that they would kiss. He didn’t know what he should do next. He was trying to figure out a way to handle the situation without pushing the issue too much. He was sure that Snape was also thinking a lot about it and he was afraid that maybe he didn’t enjoy the kiss as much. 

Remus recollected the moment of the kiss. It was more beautiful than he had imagined. 

Snape was very confused. And he hated it when that happened. He didn’t know what had given him the courage to kiss Remus. Maybe it was the alcohol or the atmosphere. He had expected Remus to shove him away, but that didn’t happen. Not only did he not refuse the kiss, but he had kissed him back with equal passion. He remembered how the kiss got more passionate. He also remembered how soft Lupin’s lips were. A thought crossed his mind.  _ I want to kiss those lips again.  _

He also knew that he shouldn’t do that. Where was this going to lead to? He was afraid that this wouldn’t work and he would end up with a broken heart. He doesn’t think that he can go through that.

He had enjoyed all the moments they had spent together, even if he tried to hide it most of the time. He looked at the Christmas tree in his office. He had only told a house-elf to put it up because he wanted to see Remus’s joyful expression. He wanted to spend happy times with Remus, but he didn’t know how to handle the matter. 

\-----

The next day, Remus is sitting on an armchair in the small living room of his quarters. He is holding the snowglobe in his hands. He sighed. He wanted to have such happy moments with Snape for the rest of their lives. He wanted to celebrate every Christmas with Severus. Trying to persuade him about the beauty of this holiday and decorating every room in their house. Baking cookies and strolling Diagon Alley - Remus would get excited with every store with Christmas decorations and Snape would try to continue walking.

He suddenly stopped himself. His thoughts had gotten him too far. And he suddenly realized that what he wanted was to talk to him. He didn’t like this distance between them and if they were going to figure out what the next step would be, they had to talk. He suddenly felt braver. So, he put the snowglobe on the mantelpiece of the fireplace and walked toward Snape’s office.

He stood in front of the door for ten seconds. Finally, he breathed in and knocked on the door. He waited for three minutes but no one answered. Then, he realized that he was in his quarters. 

He knocked on the door of his quarters and waited. A few seconds later, the door opened. When Snape saw that Remus was the one who had knocked he seemed surprised. 

“Um, good morning,” Remus said with a nervous smile. 

“Good morning,” Snape answered with an equally nervous smile.

“I am here to talk to you about… Christmas.”

Snape didn’t need anything else to understand what he was talking about. Though, he hadn’t expected that Remus would want to talk about this so soon. 

Snape gestured for him to sit on an armchair as he sat on one too. He used magic to bring tea for both of them. 

As Remus was looking at his steaming cup of tea, he was contemplating how to start his proposition.

“So, as I told you before, I want to talk to you about what happened." He paused for a few seconds. "I… I was interested in the kiss.”

“I know,” he said, smirking. Blood rushed to Remus’s cheeks. He cleared his throat nervously and continued.

“And I suspect that you liked it too.”

Snape didn’t answer. He just looked into his cup. Remus knew that he had. But did he regret it?

“I would like to try this… romantic relationship between us. I-I like you and before you say anything, I started having these feelings before the kiss,” he added.

Snape didn’t say anything for a few seconds. 

“Where is this going to lead to?” he asked.

“I.. don’t know. I hope it leads to something good.”

“But what if we end up with heartbreak?”

“Um… It’s not impossible. But what are your feelings about me?”

“I don’t think that this is what matters.”

“If this doesn’t matter, then what matters?”

“The future matters. Also, our compatibility. And-”

“No. What matters the most is your feelings. Because if you like me then I would like to risk and try this with you. But if you don’t, then I don’t think that there is any point in continuing this conversation.”

Snape sighed. He wanted to prove that Remus was wrong, but he knew that his point was valid. He did have feelings, but he didn’t think that he was ready to say them aloud.

“Well, let’s say that I am interested,” he confessed, avoiding eye contact because he was sure that if Remus saw his eyes, he would immediately understand the amount of his feelings.

Remus smiled. 

“Well, then, as we are both interested, I suggest that we go on a date. It doesn’t have to be something too formal. We could just take a walk in the snow.”

“This is a good proposal.”

“So, tomorrow?”

“Yes. At 9 am.”

Remus smiled.

“Great.”

He decided to change the subject.

“So,” Remus spoke, “do you think that you’re ready to lose the bet?” A small smirk appeared on his face.

Snape tried to hide a smirk but he failed. 

“In your dreams.” 

“We’ll see about that,” Remus said while he looked at him over the brim of his cup.

They both sat in comforting silence. Both felt content. 

\---

For the rest of the day, both were thinking about the date. What did they have to wear? They had both agreed that it didn’t have to be a big deal, but both felt like this date was very important. And did they have to kiss? When were they supposed to kiss? Would it just happen or would they have to create the circumstances?

And an hour before the date, both were looking at a mirror trying to find good clothes to wear - but not too formal.

It was just a walk in the snow. That was what both kept telling themselves. But as they walked towards the meeting place, they were both very nervous.

Snape arrived first and Remus did too only a few seconds later. 

As they greeted each other, they were trying not to linger their gaze at the other’s figure. 

Both were shy like teenagers. Remus decided to start a light conversation. He also made some light jokes and Snape was grateful for this. 

It wasn’t snowing but the snow reached a few centimeters above their ankles. They had walked farther so the chances of meeting other students were low. Remus had a wicked idea. A few seconds later, Remus started walking slower. Snape hadn’t noticed.  _ He must be too consumed in his thoughts,  _ he thought. Remus bent down and got a snowball in his hand. And he threw it at Snape’s back. 

Snape stopped. He slowly turned around and when he did Remus had taken a few steps back and had a snowball in his hand. Which landed on his chest. His face was unreadable. He raised his wand towards him. 

Five snowballs raised from the ground and flew onto Remus. He tried to shield himself. He started throwing more snowballs with his hands, while Snape used his wand. Remus was trying to avoid them but at the same time, he was able to hit Snape with some of them. Both their faces were red and they were grinning - and even laughing at a point. 

“You are using your wand! That’s not fair!” Remus shouted.

“There are no rules that say that we should throw them only with our hands,” he smirked with a look that showed as he had won.

He seemed to concentrate more on his wand and a very big snowglobe - that could have been the size of a small snowman - appeared next to him. And it flew so fast towards Remus that he had no time to react. He fell with his back on the snow. 

Snape towered over him and said: “Ready to give up?”

Remus gripped his wand. And quickly threw an equally big snowball at Severus that hit him on his chest and he fell on the ground, a few meters away. Remus quickly got up. 

“Never,” he said. 

Both were so caught up in this silly competition that stopped using their wands and started throwing snowballs at each other from a short distance. Eventually, they ended up on the ground rolling around trying to hit the other with a snowball. At one point, Remus was able to hit him with one, and as he was on top, he took another two in his hands, ready to throw them at his face. But he had been too slow. Snape gripped his arms and in a swift move he ended up on top, pinning Remus’s two arms on the snow. 

Both were panting. Their cheeks and nose were red. Remus stopped trying to break free and he was looking into Snape’s eyes, trying to return his breathing back to normal. Snape was looking at Remus’s eyes. His eyes slipped to his lips. Remus noticed. Though, Snape wasn’t sure if Remus would want the kiss. A second later Remus’s eyes slipped to his lips too, and he licked his. 

Snape lowered his head slowly until their lips were a breath apart. Remus crushed his lips on Snape’s. The kiss was passionate like both had craved it for long. They kept kissing, losing track of reality. 

A few minutes later, they broke apart panting. Their faces were redder than before. Snape immediately sat up and Remus did the same, the snowball fight, long forgotten.

They look at each other, not knowing what to say. Things had taken an unexpected turn. Snape was the first who broke the silence. 

“I’m sorry.” His eyes were looking at the ground between them. 

“Don’t be. Actually… I liked the kisses,” he shyly admitted.

Snape was looking at him, unable to utter a single word. It took him a solid minute to break out of his trance. And when he did he realized that their clothes were soaked.

“We’ve been out here for too long. We should probably go inside before we catch a cold. And you are more inclined to it.” 

Remus felt his heart swell. He felt very special when Severus showed his care.

Both got on their feet. They went separate ways when inside Hogwarts, though not before Snape reminded Remus to change quickly and wear dry and warm clothes.

"Now who's acting like a mother?" Remus joked.

And then Remus pecked his lips. 

“Next time we should spend time indoors.” And he left.

Snape stood for a few seconds, watching his retreating figure.

\---

For the next few days, they saw each other every day. It would be for a few hours, but both were content with the pace. They didn’t kiss much after the snow incident. Only a few pecks. 

Remus is glad that he spends the holidays with Snape and Harry. Though Harry still doesn’t know, whenever Remus is able to chat with him he doesn’t miss the chance. 

\--- 

December 31st

Another staff party would be held to celebrate the new year.

Remus would meet with Snape at his quarters again. 

Both had done their best to look more handsome. When Snape opened the door, Remus greeted him and then looked at his figure with a lot of interest. Snape also considered Remus attractive but was more subtle.

“What?” Snape asked, self-conscious. 

“Just that you are very handsome today.” A smirk appeared on his face. 

“I am glad to accompany you, otherwise I’d be jealous.” He didn’t know where he had found the courage to flirt.

“Shut up.” He said trying to hide his smirk but failing. 

  
  


At the party, they drank, they talked with other professors and actually had a good time. Snape hadn’t had any pessimistic thoughts about the celebration. It was like he was absorbing part of Remus’s happiness. Maybe the alcohol was helping.

A few minutes before the countdown, they were conversing alone. More like flirting. And Remus decides to tell him how much he enjoyed the holidays. 

“I really enjoyed spending the past few days with our dates. Though I also had a great time when we were decorating your office. I hope that we can do it again next year,” he admitted with a nostalgic smile.

“We will.”

“Really?” Remus’s hopeful look was enough to make Snape feel like his heart was about to burst. 

“Yes,” he smiled. He was the only person to whom he could lose a bet. And he would love to lose this one if it meant kissing happy and festive Remus.

“So, you enjoyed the past few days?” he asked, even though he already knew the answer.

He nodded. 

“Oh, I have an idea.”

“What is it?”

“There is a custom about kissing at the end of the countdown. It brings good luck for the rest of the year. I think that we should do it too.”

Snape couldn’t argue with the idea, mostly because he wanted to kiss Remus and also because of the alcohol. 

“Yes,” he breathed.

  
  


During the countdown, they were holding hands.

“5”

“4”

“3”

“2” They were looking at each other.

“1” They squeezed each other’s hand.

“Happy New Year!”

Their lips connected as fireworks were up in the sky. 

The other professors hadn’t noticed, but they had already known that their relationship was more than friendly.

\--

After the party, both quite drunk, were walking to Snape’s quarters and then would take separate ways. 

They were walking in a corridor, both muttering a song.

Snape suddenly felt brave. He stopped and looked at Remus. 

“I like you a lot.” 

“I like you too, Sev,” he said smiling.

And then Snape crushed his lips on Remus’s and pushed him on the wall. They started making out passionately, forgetting where they were. Until Remus forced their lips to break apart.

“What happened?” asked Snape.

“I think that we should take this to your quarters.” His arms hadn’t left around Severus’s neck. 

“You are right,” he said, blushing. 

  
  


Both got to sleep a little while before dawn, while they were cuddling naked under the blankets on Severus’s bed.

The end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe that this story has already come to an end. I want to thank everyone that left kudos on the story!!

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!


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